Dangerous

I grew up with a great love for adventure and risk. Not much has changed since I’ve grown up. In fact, its arguable if Ive actually grown up. As a kid I rode bicycles and dirt bikes. I jumped off roofs and got pulled behind cars on skateboards (shout out to Marty McFly for the great idea). I played in old abandoned quarries and loved climbing the rickety, rusted cranes that were left by stone cutters in the 50s.
All this hard playing has taken a toll. I’m 32, but have been told by a doctor I have the skeleton of an arthritic 60 year old. I’ve broken twenty some bones and had enough stitches to reupholster a couch. You know what? I don’t regret a moment of it. I’m an adrenaline junky through and through. I honestly can say I can’t imagine a safe boring life being any fun at all. In my mind getting hurt is the price you pay to have the most fun.
But I’m experiencing some new feelings lately. The desire for safety and control. Not for myself. For my kids. The other day I went out to one of the old quarries I used to play in. I imagined my son there doing the same things I used to do and I felt panicked. I’m not kidding, I felt sick. What if he falls off the edge? What if he twists his ankle at the bottom and can’t climb out? What if he’s climbing on that rock and it gives way? What if…?!?
So now I’m in this weird spot. As an adventure lover I desperately want my kids to have fun in all the exciting parts of life. I want them to be brave and wild. I want them to laugh after riding a bike downhill so fast they aren’t sure if they were in control. I want them to embrace the thrill of risk. I’ve loved all of that and now I want to share it with them.
But as a parent I also want to protect them. Even though I look at every one of my broken bones as a worthwhile adventure, I want to prevent pain in my kids’ lives.
So I’d like to apologize to my parents. I can’t believe neither one of them had a heart attack before I graduated High School. And I’d like to see of anyone else feels this tension between protecting kids yet letting them live adventurously. Anyone?