Fatherhood is an amazingly complicated thing. I always knew I would love being a dad, but it brings more joy and fulfillment to me than I ever could have imagined. That being said, man is this gig hard sometimes. I find myself more often than I would like going to one of my kids and saying something along the lines of, “I’m so sorry. I dropped the ball on that one.” Or “Dad handled that/spoke/responded/acted poorly there.” Or “You were right kids, using two umbrellas for a parachute doesn’t work any better than using one. Walk it off sweetheart.”
Being a good dad is important to me for about a thousand reasons. I thought I’d write about two of them. First, it weighs heavily on me that a person’s view of God is deeply tied to their view of their father. People who have a physically abusive dads often have a hard time seeing God as anything but harsh and scary. Someone whose father walked out is more likely to feel abandoned by God when life sucks. So I feel the weight of reflecting God as accurately as possible to my kids. I know I’ll mess up, but I’m terrified of messing up so royally or so consistently in one area that it makes my kids misunderstand who God really is.
Second, I look around and am incredibly saddened by the decline of “manhood” in our society. By manhood I don’t mean anything machismo. I’m not referring to how much a guy can bench press, how quickly he can chop a tree down or how much his chest resembles a German Shepherd laying on a bear-skin rug; hair with a backdrop of hair. When I say the “decline of manhood” I’m not referring to these external caricature like ideas of manhood. I mean something much deeper. The declines I see the most that trouble me are in things like responsibility, commitment, priorities, courage, honor and self-sacrifice. These things go into the definition of true manhood. You can look like 1984 Burt Reynolds on steroids on the outside, but be a boy. And you can have the physical stature of Mr. Burns and be an absolute stud.
I have a friend who would blend in to most crowds pretty easily. He’s somewhat tall, but skinny, not noticeably muscular, wears glasses and has graying hair. Physically he is the epitome of average. He’s shy, soft-spoken, unassuming and, in general, easy to miss. Here’s why this guy is awesome. You’d never guess by looking at him that he is a detective with the local police department who often runs down and tackles drug addicts and violent criminals. He’s on a task force that stakes out and conducts stings on local drug rings. What’s more impressive is my friend’s family life. Unable to have their own biological children he and his wife have adopted 7 kids, all of whom came from abusive or problematic situations. Listen up kids; that is a man. My own step dad is another great example. I grew up with a dad who loved, provided for and protected me as a matter of choice, not biological expectation. I had no idea growing up that we weren’t rich because I was involved in every activity I wanted and had incredibly generous birthdays and Christmases. I didn’t realize as a child that this was only because my dad worked multiple jobs to make it happen. And tired as he was he made sure to be involved in everything I was doing. That is a man.
I hope to be a good man and a good father. Happy Father’s Day everyone.
werdguys 